Thoughts on UFC 136

Although I'm reticent to do yet another mma blog, it does happen to be one of my interests. I can't help it that everyone thought it'd be a neat idea to write (often poorly) about it. That isn't to say I feel like I'm going to go above and beyond what exists out there, either. I'm just going to throw shit and hope it sticks.

The prelims were garbage. Everything went to a decision, including one split decision. I don't think there's anything more dubious in combat sports than the split decision. What the fuck was that judge looking at? Why did the other two judges disagree? Even though you "won" the fight, it wasn't decisive at all. And if you lost, apparently you were one or two maneuvers away from swaying one of the other two jackasses.

The only prelim fight I was truly interested in anyhow was Demian Maia's fight. He's a submission machine, and one of my favorite fighters. Even that one went to a goddamned decision (which Maia won unanimously), so...fuck it.

So after 6 prelim/undercard fights that all went to the cards, you've gotta be thinking you're in for a night that is nothing short of funneling ground glass into your corneas...and then the first main card fight starts.

Melvin Guillard vs. Joe Lauzon was a classic slugger/submission fight. With Guillard, you sometimes don't know which guy's gonna show up, so it's never a guarantee that he's going to beat the shit out of his opponent. He's been on a run lately, though, so...chances were good he'd do well.

Not so much. Lauzon tagged him with a punch that knocked him down, took his back, and rear naked choked his ass into submission. You always have a puncher's chance until your opponent's behind you with his arms around your neck, squeezing your carotids. Tap or good night, and Guillard chose the former. Lauzon won "submission of the night" for his performance.

Leonard Garcia vs. Nam Phan seemed like good wholesome featherweight fun. These guys so rarely knock each other out, but it's fun to watch them stay active and beat the shit out of each other for a few rounds. Though it went to a decision, it was a fantastic fight that ended up winning "fight of the night" honors.

Garcia is a particularly powerful puncher for the featherweight division, and though his fights often go to the cards, he can punch the fuck out of a guy for a while. I didn't know much about Phan going in, but he's a very intelligent fighter who patiently picked apart an increasingly winded Garcia (who threw bombs most of the fight). At the beginning of the third round, they smiled and high-fived each other before giving it their all. In the end, Phan did more and won a unanimous decision. Great fight, from start to finish. Phan could be someone to watch.

The third fight was Chael Sonnen vs. Brian Stann. Sonnen is an absolute dick who makes me laugh my ass off in his interviews. The best part is, he backs up everything he says in the octagon. He's the only person to not only challenge, but dominate Anderson Silva for 4.5 rounds before succumbing to a triangle.

Brian Stann was an interesting challenge for Sonnen. Not fighting-wise (he won the fight via arm triangle choke pretty easily), but instead because of his Marine background. It's tough to trash-talk a person who's sacrificed for their country, though he did say he was gonna give him an "all-American ass-whoopin'" before the fight.

In one of the best post-fight interviews ever, Sonnen ignored Joe Rogan's questions and proclaimed "Anderson Silva absolutely sucks." He then challenged Silva to a rematch, and said if he lost, he would leave the UFC. Probably nothing more than a WWE-style stunt that won't bear fruit, but hilariously awesome nonetheless.

Jose Aldo (who pronounces his first name Joe-zay, like Joe-zay and the Pussycats) vs. Kenny Florian was an intriguing fight, because Aldo has seemed like an unstoppable force in the featherweight division lately, and Florian was dropping down in weight from the lightweight division so he could be a little bigger than his opponents.

Florian came out looking great, using his grappling and wrestling skills in the first round to completely control Aldo. It was interesting to see Aldo get truly challenged, since he's been ridiculously good the last four years (and finishing fights with KOs and TKOs no less, which is a rarity in that division).

Slowly Aldo started to establish himself, guarding the takedown from Florian (who wanted oh so desperately to go to the ground and deliver some elbows to Aldo's face) and working the leg kick. The latter was a great strategy because it gets increasingly difficult to perform a takedown once your legs are damaged. I don't feel like Aldo dominated this fight, but Florian was unable to use his gameplan, which rendered him ineffective. It went to the cards, and Aldo took it unanimously.

The main event was just great. It had everything. I'll put this in my top 5 fights of the year, easily. Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard III. That's right, the finale of a trilogy. In the first fight, Maynard handed Edgar the only loss of his career by unanimous decision. In the second, they fought to a draw. To me, the third fight was the best of them all.

Frankie Edgar, the lightweight champion, is a natural lightweight. He doesn't cut weight at all, naturally staying in the realm of 155 pounds. Gray Maynard on the other hand weighs between 180 and 190 pounds, cutting a ridiculous (for that division) 25 and 35 pounds. Basically up to 20% of his body weight. Maynard was much taller and had a two-inch reach advantage, which looked much greater when you saw them together.

I like Edgar, and I wanted him to win. To say that Edgar got his ass beaten in the first round is...no. Just no. Maynard found out Edgar's defense was susceptible to uppercuts, and landed probably a good four of them right on the button. While he was rocked after the first one, Maynard landed a nice shot that broke Edgar's nose. Edgar was blind for probably a minute after that, his eyes watering and his face spraying blood. I'd pretty much given up on my guy at that point.

Somehow, though, Edgar zombie-walked like a goddamn corpse back to his corner (after being pointed in the right direction) and his corner cleaned him up. He looked...like himself, only with a broken nose, at the start of the second. I still didn't have much hope, but...it was something.

Then a funny thing started happening. There's some debate whether Maynard was using strategy or had punched himself out, but either way he slowed his pace. Did I mention Edgar is a cardio machine? I probably should've. Because he doesn't cut weight, his conditioning is pretty much optimum at any given point. In previous fights where he's taken it to the ground, he's looked a lot like a gremlin, just changing angles and positions, landing strikes the entire time.

Only...this fight didn't go to the ground. Not once. Maynard felt he had the advantage standing, and Edgar agreed to face him on his turf. Oh, what a badass. On paper, though, that strategy seems kinda dumb. I said before it was a two-inch reach advantage? Yeah, what I meant to say was that Edgar has cute little T-Rex arms. They're adorable. You could eat one and be hungry in half an hour. Seriously.

But Maynard slowed down, and Edgar used a stick-and-move strategy to pop him in the face and get out before a lumbering haymaker could land. The shots started to wear on Maynard, and then in the fourth round, Edgar went for a takedown that Maynard thwarted, then cracked him in the jaw with an uppercut as he stood up from the takedown attempt. Maynard stumbled, so Edgar took that as his opportunity to land another uppercut and a hook, which sent Maynard careening back against the cage. Well, when you fall back against the cage, you tend to bounce. In this case, most serendipitously, there was a fist waiting for Maynard as he bounced off. A fist that sent him crashing onto the ground.

Edgar pounced, sending fists at Maynard's chin from an awkward angle under his arm and around his chest; one landed, and Maynard's face mushed into the mat. Referee stoppage, incredible comeback complete.

Fuck. Yes.

My screaming at the Bourbon Street Thunderdome shredded my vocal cords to where I was talking like Tom Waits much of the next day, but it was totally worth it. Drink some tea and suck it up, Nancy. That was a hell of a fight. Edgar's kind of like a more successful Scott Smith. That made a couple MMA fans chuckle.

Oh, and Edgar won "KO of the night," too. Well-deserved. Reach advantage + power < T-Rex arms + speed. It doesn't always add up like that, but it's a good time either way. Sure as hell was on Saturday.

I'll see you around.