Open letter to my brother.

...I like visitors. *grins like puppy not cute enough to get adopted as a needle glistens threateningly in the background*

I know there are cooler people who still have their appendixes that you'd rather visit...I mean, I used to do the same thing and discriminate against them: "Fucking appendix-less loser! Go get a fucking APPENDIX!" I'd bellow as my friends and I drove by the appendix barrios. In response they'd wave their "Need appendicks" and "Wil wurk for apendix" signs in sorrow, blessing us in the name of organ grinder Jesus that He might heal our vision and help us see the error of our ways.

Truth is there isn't a whole lot of difference between you and I now, little brother. Just a red, 17-pound, pulsatingly infected organ that normally doesn't do anything anyways.

I know you want to just hang out with your "whole" friends, but...a little acceptance would go a long way. Look at how it's worked for whites and blacks, Travis. Why, if we started hanging out again now that I'm broken and un-cool...before too long, I could be picking your pockets and impregnating fat whores with appendixes who theoretically should know better.

Think of what that would do for my self-esteem.

Just think.

YES WE CAN.